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By Andrea Peyser
May 22, 2015

Celebrity moms need to start covering up their goods

Would you let your mother leave the house dressed like a tart on a bender?

Jennifer Lopez appeared at the Billboard Music Awards show in Las Vegas Sunday nearly starkers, clad in a navel-and-side-boob-baring silvery getup that looked as if she were stuffed into an aluminum can that burst open around her.

The Charbel Zoe-designed schmatta made her look like a middle-aged songbird desperately attempting to draw attention to her bod before the treacherous effects of gravity kick in. For here was a 45-year-old dame badly in need of a brassiere, an emergency fashion intervention and a full-length mirror.

Has J.Lo, who is set to start a concert residency in Vegas this coming January, helped to desensitize the public to the sight of exposed breasts and posteriors displayed like fresh pastries by attention-craving celebrities?

J.Lo, you’re a mother! Dress like one.

“She makes me want to cry,’’ said my friend Sandy, a Brooklyn mother of two girls.

“Now I have to explain to my 13-year-old daughter that nice girls leave something to the imagination,’’ she said.

Lopez is the mom of 7-year-old twins with ex-husband Marc Anthony, a boy and a girl old enough to be scarred for life by a parent’s desperate attempts to remain relevant in a society that’s grown clothing-optional for filthy-rich stars.

The “Booty” singer and narcissistic actress was not the first to go this route.

Singer/actress Cher scandalized CBS TV censors when she revealed her belly button on “The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour’’ in the 1970s. Janet Jackson enraged a still-shockable audience by flashing a boob in a “wardrobe malfunction” during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show in Houston.

How innocent that all seems today.

Lopez was an early advocate for the trend of throwing on an outfit, and nearly missing. In 2000, she showed up in an eye-popping see-through green silk chiffon Versace gown slit from her neck to her nether regions at the Grammy Awards ceremony in Los Angeles.

She was outdone last year by Barbados-born singer Rihanna. RiRi showed off her nipples and exposed a backside obfuscated only by a thong at the Council of Fashion Designers of America awards show gala in New York City, wearing an indecent, sheer dress decorated with 216,000 Swarovski crystals that no one noticed.

Pop star Miley Cyrus twerked lasciviously in a nude-colored Latex bikini against then-married 36-year-old singer Robin Thicke at the 2013 MTV Music Awards show ceremony in Brooklyn. Then, Kim Kardashian eclipsed them all.

The 34-year-old reality TV star and wife of rap mogul Kanye West, mommy to toddler daughter North West, ignited a national conversation about morality, taste and motherly exhibitionism with her “Internet-breaking” photo shoot in Paper magazine this year. She stripped down to her birthday suit and showed off her rotund hindquarters like a pair of oiled and ample ripe melons.

These women would likely be tossed out of high-school proms around the country, as school administrators ban sheer and midriff-baring outfits.

It took another celebrity, ironically one who has made the scene in dresses slit to her crotch, to state the obvious. “Glee’’ TV actress Naya Rivera scolded Kardashian in a comment she posted to the Instagram feed in which the female half of Kimye posted her Paper pics.

“I normally don’t,’’ wrote Rivera. “But…you’re someone’s mother…’’

Momster J.Lo should take a hint.

Put on some clothes.

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