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Why does everyone think we want to see them naked?
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By Andrea Peyser
May 20, 2016

Why does everyone think we want to see them naked?

The culture has devolved into a sea of immodest, exhibitionistic bimbos and sluts. Be afraid.

Walk down any street outside of the putrid parts of the Middle East, or gaze at a random picture of pint-sized pop star Justin Bieber, and one is likely to encounter a beltless dude with pants hanging below his butt, revealing grungy boxer shorts — or the naughty bits God gave him.

Musical attention whore Madonna walked the red carpet at this month’s Met Gala in New York City in a tragic, bondage-inspired get-up with see-through panels exposing her 57-year-old boobs and bum. Ick. Was this wardrobe malfunction a desperate cry for help, or the result of Her Madgesty’s lack of style, common sense and, perhaps, a full-length mirror?

As the mother of a teenage girl, I’m ready to throw the TV out the window, switch off the internet and check out convents. (For me.)

Anything to shut out the influences of obscene folks posing as role models.

The most recent assault on ordinary standards of taste and decency is worth barely a whimper, comparatively speaking. But I see this epic fashion fail as a symbol of decay, moral and sartorial.

Los Angeles TV meteorologist and reporter Liberté Chan showed up to present the weather on ­WKTLA this past Saturday morning dressed as if she’d just spilled out of a late-night cocktail party, in a sparkly, black minidress attached to her bare shoulders by narrow fabric straps.

Her colleagues and bosses seemed to have missed the fact that her cheesy attire was inappropriate for live television, until emails of complaint flooded into the station.

A disembodied hand then shoved a frumpy, gray sweater at the weather babe.

“What’s going on? You want me to put this on? Why? Because it’s cold?” Chan yammered cluelessly, slipping the sweater over her Aidan Mattox dress.

“We’re getting a lot of emails,” the sweater-giver, anchorman Chris Burrous, replied, later claiming that some viewers were upset Chan wore a dress suitable for a New Year’s Eve fete or a brothel.

“What? Really? I look like a librarian now,’’ Chan said as cameras rolled.

Sexist, as TV watchers who exercised the hashtag #sweatergate have tweeted? Nah. I think Chan should thank her scantily clad lucky stars that she finally, however embarrassingly, was compelled into dressing for the workplace.

She’s far from the worst skin offender. Songstress Rihanna showed off her nipples, which are fast becoming yawn material, her backside obfuscated only by a thong, at the 2014 Council of Fashion Designers of America awards-show gala in New York. RiRi left nothing to the imagination in an indecent, sheer shmatta decorated with 216,000 Swarovski crystals.

Bette Midler has had enough. At the sight of a selfie posted on Instagram by Kim Kardashian West, her cartoonishly voluptuous body completely starkers, the singer, songwriter, comedienne and actress, 70, was among celebs who expressed disapproval of the 35-year-old reality-TV creature, who suffers from a chronic inability to keep her clothes on.

“If Kim wants us to see a part of her we’ve never seen, she’s gonna have to swallow the camera,’’ Midler tweeted in March.

“Hey @BetteMidler I know it’s past your bedtime but if you’re still up and reading this send nudes #justkidding” — Kim K tweeted back snarkily.

“It’s 2016. The body-shaming and slut-shaming — it’s like, enough is enough,’’ she, like, posted on her website, failing to mention that she’s the mom of a little girl and a boy, North and Saint, with her rap-mogul hubby, Kanye West.

Midler got the last laugh, tweeting a picture of herself, seemingly dressed in underwear, standing behind a cardboard sign urging, “Like Kim . . . put your selfie to work for a good cause.’’ She offered a 2-to-1 match for donations to her Stages For Success charity, which renovates outdated public-school auditoriums.

Transgender chick Caitlyn Jenner, 66, is reportedly making a naked photographic foray this summer on the cover of Sports Illustrated magazine. Zir (how’s that for a politically correct pronoun?) still-present junk is to be obscured by an American flag and the Olympic gold decathlon medal won in 1976, when ze (!) was a guy named Bruce. It’s as gross as it is grammatically suspect and un-American.

We are sliding into a look-at-me abyss, people. Turn away! If you possibly can.


©2007-2023 Andrea Peyser and; No Reuse without permission.
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