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By Andrea Peyser
September 19, 2014

Not sure whether these parents are ‘Extreme' or just terrible

Meet porn actress Madison Young and creepy fetish-film director James Mogul. By some fluke of nature coupled with benign neglect on the part of child-protective services officials, the sexual deviants from Berkeley, Calif., are together raising their adorable 2 1/2-year-old daughter, Emma.

During a recent play date, Emma's mom, who practices a "body positivity'' — love your body — method of being a parent whipped out a jar of her menstrual blood and poured it on the house plants for nourishment.

"I'm not going to try to get too personal, but this isn't normal,'' the mom of Emma's playmate said.

When did being a parent become a gross-out sport?

This exploitative look at folks who shouldn't be allowed to raise goldfish let alone budding juvenile delinquents passes for train-wreck entertainment in the Bravo TV network's reality show "Extreme Guide to Parenting.''

Since its debut last month, the show began following nine families whose methods of "parenting'' are not only psychologically, physically and grammatically troubling, it's a wonder that the program hasn't been shut down, the moms and dads banned from even looking at kids.

Take 4-year-old Austen Eisenberg of Long Island, a curly-haired cutie. His hyperactive, blond tiger mother, Marisa Silver-Eisenberg, is a devotee of "push parenting'' — pushing her seemingly average kid into becoming a boastful (and neurotic) master of the universe.

The chiropractor and gym owner from Jericho, LI, enrolled her only child in music classes at 3 months of age, bought him gymnastics lessons at 7 months, forces him to play basketball, baseball, soccer, the piano, and to ice skate. She talked Austen's dad, Jeff, into teaching him to play chess, and constantly calls her kid the greatest, smartest and most handsome boy around.

But when Austen failed to use proper penmanship to write his lengthy surname on a white board, Mom denied the wailing child his breakfast. She rejected a warning from a child psychologist that such parental overkill could be a form of child abuse.

When I gave birth to my daughter 15 years ago, “attachment parenting’’ was all the rage among psychotic parents who “wore’’ their children in slings draped across their chests. Moms breast-fed until long after tots grew teeth.

These folks endured sleep deprivation, lack of privacy and risked rolling over their precious progeny by gathering parents and kids to “co-sleep’’ in family beds.

Not for me.

“Extreme Parenting’’ features married gay dads from Los Angeles, helicopter parents Scout Masterson and Bill Horn, who hover over their adopted daughter Simone, then 3, with an “all baby, all the time’’ philosophy. They won’t let the poor kid alone for a second.

There’s nutty Shira Adler, a four-times divorced mom of two from Katonah in Westchester County, who lives with her boyfriend, Andy Kadison, and describes her style as “eco-kosher, shamanistic, organic, natural, and for the greatest good.’’ She won’t give medication to her son, Yonah, 10, who suffers from attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder.

“I freakin’ hate you!’’ Yonah yelled from the roof of a building near their house. Adler treats his outbursts with crystals, Reiki — a massage in which the masseuse doesn’t actually touch the massage recipient — and aromatherapy.

An effort was made by producers to inject racial diversity into a show that focuses mainly on the foibles of white folks. There is Darlene Brooks, an single African-American mother of three daughters from Oakland, Calif., whose “perfectionism’’ causes her to mercilessly criticize the frizzy hair of her bright 16-year old girl, Bianca.

Asian mom and Hispanic dad Jen and Troi Valencia of San Diego are ”warrior’’ parents who require their brood of four to practice the martial art jiujitsu. When son Tyson, 5, forgets to bring napkins to the dinner table, Mom forces him to lie, face-down, on the floor.

Masterson and Horn, known as “The Guncles’’ — gay uncles — to the four kids of actress Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott (the guys were regulars on the now-canceled reality TV show “Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood’’) have a new addition. Since their “Extreme’’ episode aired, they’ve adopted a baby boy, Bosley Jo Masterson-Horn. It seems “Extreme Parenting’’ is a malady that’s growing.

It should not be encouraged. Cancel this show.

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